5 replies to this topic

[Wade2011]

hey forumers,
look i would like some help and id like to see what you think.

i have had this friendship with the same person for 16 years grown up together now the problem im having is she is starting to slowly shut me out likes shes done before but she only does it with BF's what would u guys do or say would u say something to her or would u like slowly just disapear away from them,

i would do anything for her but its hurting me to watch her life do the same!

[Luisa]

Hi, Wade

If I were you, I wouldn't just let her slip away. I've known my best friend for 16 years - our whole lives - and I would never give up our friendship, even if times were tough. I simply would not be able to live knowing that we had lost the amazing connection that we have. I'm no expert on friendships, and I can imagine how hard this would be for you, but I would stay by her side. If it feels like she's shutting you out, it might just be because she needs some space. It might be a girl thing, but my friend and I have times when we need to back away from each other for a little while, so we can breathe some different air. It doesn't mean that we don't mean the world to each other, it's just that we need a breather, and to open up to other people for a while, too. If it's really getting you down, try having a chat to her. I'm sure she'll have a perfect explination. Everyone always needs someone, apart from their partner, to share things with. I'm sure she'll realise soon enough.
16 years is a very, very long time to be friends with someone, and I would hate for you to lose what you have.

I hope that helps, in the slightest way..... maybe :S xx

[innocentdeltafan]

I would love to help you but most of my friends from highschool don't even talk to me anymore.
I let them go or the other way around. I can't be stuffed chasing people when they can't be bothered in the first
place.

Sorry I couldn't be of help.
Goodluck with it!

Jocelyn

[Johnnii]

I am no expert on friendships but all i know is that having one friend is better than having none at all. If you have been friends for 16 years then i suggest you do what ever it takes to sort it out, be honest and open about how you feel and just listen to what your friend has to say without interrupting. I know it's hard but don't give up on whats important to you, fight for it cause we were all born to try. I really believe that there is still hope for you guys, good luck.

[jeddman]

These things can happen when people get into a relationship. But true friendships can withstand it. I've had a friend since grade 4. We are in our mid twenties now. There's been periods where we haven't spoken for months just coz life has been hectic or whatever but we are always in the same place when we speak, the friendship is always strong and we never hold a grudge against one another for being too busy.

That being said we really recognise how special our friendship is and I'll see her (and her boyfriend who's become a great friend) a lot more often now.

You have to honour history and honour friendships. If you feel your friend isn't doing that maybe have a word to her about it. Would you be the same if you had met a new partner?

Hope it all works out. Forgive my rant.

[x_LastNightOnEarth_x]

I know this is an old post, but I'll still give my two cents

I've known one of my closest friends for fifteen years, and she used to be the person I considered my best friend. We went everywhere together, told each other everything, and when we hung out, we had the best times ever. As we got older, we started to drift away, and I did face the same problem; it seemed like she didn't want to make time for me anymore. As hard as it was for me, I just let it go. I didn't ever let her slip away, but I didn't keep her in the forefront, either. We still hung out sometimes when we were both free, but it wasn't constant. We still said hi to each other if we passed each other in the hall or something, but we weren't best friends like we used to be - and that's okay.

To this day, we still fall back to our old patterns occasionally and sit down with each other and talk for hours like no time ever separated us. So, don't let them slip away. Definitely don't try to make that person your everything, even though it's hard when it's someone so close to you. Just remember that you don't have to be best friends to still speak to each other every once in awhile. And though it may seem like she's shutting you out, you may not know how much your friendship means to her. I know in the situation with my friend, I had no idea until she told me that she was so glad that I was her constant in life. Don't let a sixteen year friendship end over something like this...be there for her when she's free and can take a minute for you, and even when she's not, just know that there's a good chance you'll still end up being pretty close friends someday down the road.